Fear of failure or fear of success...

I did a pre-dan grading course on Saturday to find out if I'm definitely ready for this black belt grading on June 12th. I have written my main report about this on my other blog: Pre-dan grading course - a dose of reality! but there are a few extra things that came out of it that I want to discuss here.

What do I fear most failure or success?

I don't actually fear failure. If I fail and I can see good reason for it then I could accept that with good grace. In fact I would be one of the first people to feel disgruntled if people were passing  when they didn't deserve it as this diminishes the success of those that do deserve to pass. I don't want to fail obviously but I don't fear what failure would do to me - as long as I could see it was fair. I would just train for longer and try again - I wouldn't quit.

What about success? We all want success in our black belt grading but does it always sit comfortably? People often feel unworthy of their black belt, worried about the expectations that may be placed on them or worried that they may not live up to people's expectations of a 'black belt'. I'm not particularly worried that I may feel like this. If I feel that I've really earned a black belt then I hope I will feel proud to wear it.

But there lies the rub....What I really fear is that success may feel like failure; that the experience of grading will be so bruising emotionally that I won't be able to enjoy my success. I want my grading to feel like a positive experience - Physically shattering, yes! Mentally draining, yes! But emotionally battering, no! I don't want my black belt to be a constant reminder of a negative experience. Why should I fear this? Well because I know it has happened to someone close to me. Someone who never really came to terms with his black belt because of the experience gone through to obtain it and he no longer practices that martial art. Don't get me wrong, he is a mentally strong and resilient person and he was physically capable of performing the art but those emotions just creep up on you in unexpected ways and can leave scars that last for years. I don't want my karate to be tainted in this way.

Forewarned is forearmed! My pre-dan grading course has made me realise that I am susceptible to emotional pressure - that I can become negative and stressed way too easily. I need to deal with now. I need to change my perception of the grading - knock it off its grand pedestal and realise it's just another grading, another step of the journey completed. I need to get my head in the right place and go into the grading with a positive spirit and a realistic expectation of my ability. A pass, whatever the mark will be a worthy pass and should feel like success.

What do you fear most success or failure?

Getting to grips with goshin waza

At class last night we got the chance to work on our goshin waza  (self-defence techniques). I had them more or less worked out in my head. Some of them were ones I'd learnt many months ago and some were fairly new. However, it doesn't matter how well you work things out in your head you really don't know what you can make work until you try it out in practice!

What always amazes me with many of these goshin waza techniques is how fairly subtle changes in the techniques lead to huge improvements in their effectiveness. A small shift in weight distribution, re-positioning of the hands, stepping closer to the opponent etc can suddenly change a weak technique into a strong technique. Many of the self-defence techniques that we do tend to have an overlap with some jujitsu techniques. Luckily for me my training partner (who happens to be my husband) is also a black belt in jujitsu. He is able to talk me through all the little nuances that make a big difference to effectiveness. This extra tuition that I can get from my husband as well as my instructor means that my performance at goshin waza tends to be one of my strong points in karate.

At the end of the lesson we got to demonstrate all our techniques to the class. Being on show like this is always slightly nerve racking but it's good practice for the grading - we'll definitely be on show then! I think the demonstration went okay (apart from the belt and gi problems) though my escapes from lapel grabs still need a bit more work.

Another step closer to shodan.....need to focus on bunkai next.

Training review - flowing kata!

I've managed to get back to some useful training this week. There has been no karate classes at all this week due to the Easter break (and my instructor enjoying a break in Tuscany) so it has seemed even more important to do some training at home.

My main focus this week has been kata. I have three kata to perform in my grading- Bassai Dai, Seienshin and Annanku, together with some bunkai. Kata has never been my strong point, at least not from an aesthetic point of view! However I do feel I've made some significant strides forward in the last few weeks. This week I've been following Felicia's advice about practising kata as a flow drill and I think it is paying off. Instead of just doing the kata with full power and with correct timing you practice it softly and flowingly at a faster speed than normal. You have to pay attention to correct stances, footwork, hand positions etc, so the kata is not performed sloppily but just without the power and changes in timing.

Doing the kata in this way makes it feel a bit more meditational - eventually you stop thinking about the moves and they just flow out of you. It is also less exhausting to do the kata softly and so it is possible to repeat the kata several times in succession. Today I did all three kata 6 times each straight after each other. That would have been very difficult to do if I had done the katas with full power! So doing it this way has given me more practice. However, it is still important to do the kata with power and timing as well so that I don't forget so I've made sure that the last repetition is done in this way.

I've also been working on basic kihon techniques - punching and kicking combinations. The punching combinations I'm pretty confident about now but some of my kicks still leave a lot to be desired! Why are back kick and side kick so difficult? I still have trouble with forming the correct foot shape and getting sufficient height (and we're only talking chudan height here). Yeah I know - it's just practice!

I've also been finalising my goshin waza  (self-defence techniques) with my husband who will be my grading partner. I've decided on demonstrating three defences to attacks from behind (double wrist grab, over-arm bear hug and arm bar to throat), three defences to lapel grabs and three defences to kicks to the head on the ground. My husband doesn't let me get away with anything and grabs me really tight. He makes me really work hard to get the techniques to work, so I'm hopeful of putting on a good performance of these in the grading.

I feel a lot less stressed about the grading now and I'm starting to feel on top of things....with only 7 weeks to go that's a good sign!

Back and raring to go.....

Nissi Beach

Long time, no blogging! I have just returned this week from a holiday in Cyprus. It was very relaxing and refreshing and I managed to switch off from karate almost entirely for a whole week! Well, physically at least. My brain, on the other hand,  remained in karate overdrive for much of the time.

However my body feels much better for the rest - all the aches, pains and tiredness I had experienced a few weeks ago have disappeared and I feel raring to go again. The holiday wasn't entirely without exercise though (I just can't sit around doing nothing for very long) and we played tennis and squash most days as well as swimming and some gentle walking along the coastal path - but like they say, a change is as good as a rest!

Troodos Mountains

Despite not getting home until 4.00am on Monday morning we still managed to get to class on Monday evening. It was great to be back and though I felt tired from lack of sleep my body was definitely up to the challenges of the class, which focused on fitness and then kata.

Our Hotel

To make up for missing classes last week and the fact that there are no classes next week due to Easter, we attended an extra session at one of the other clubs my instructor runs. My husband and I were able to spend the whole class just working through all nine of our ippon kumite techniques and then demonstrated them to the rest of the class, which were mainly children and young teenagers (hope we didn't scare them!)

Our balcony

Then last night we attended our usual class and after one of sensei's mad fitness drills we spent the rest of the evening trying out some bunkai from the pinan katas. You know, the more I learn about the pinan katas the more impressed I am with them and I often wonder why they are regarded as beginner's katas - there is so much to learn from them, you just don't see it until you are more senior. They are definitely not katas to be learnt in junior ranks and then forgotten.

Me on a jeep safari

As you can see, I have launched myself back into my training with a vengeance and I'm feeling very enthusiastic about it. There's just over 7 weeks to go now until the black belt grading and I'm feeling pretty hungry for it, so let's bring it on.....

Training progress - getting a little overwhelmed!

The balance of my training has changed a lot over the last two weeks. Most of my training has been done in my usual karate classes, plus a couple of pretty demanding weekend courses. I have also returned to kobudo training after missing a few weeks. With all the muscle soreness I have experienced over the last 2 weeks I decided not to do any additional training at home.

My legs now finally feel okay and I'm starting to feel that I can pick up the pace again. I have still not returned to the push up challenge which I stopped about 4 weeks ago because I was struggling with it and generally wondered if I was over training a little. I have not yet reached my target of 50 push ups, the maximum I got to was 35. I'm still considering whether to pick up this challenge again and try to reach my target. The problem is there are so many other things I need to concentrate on that are more directly relevant to the karate training so I may leave it for a while and pick it up again after I have got my black belt.

I'm not too worried that I'm not doing any fitness training at home because sensei has us doing a fair bit in the classes. Most classes we have 2 or 3 rounds of push ups, sit ups, burpees, star jumps, straight leg raising etc, as well as some stretching exercises so I'm still doing that kind of stuff.

I have finally settled on my 9 ippon kumite techniques. Some of the finishing moves may need a bit of tweaking but essentially I just need to keep drilling them (both physically and mentally). I now need to settle on my 9 goshin waza (self defence) techniques. We get to choose what type of attacks we want to receive and then have to demonstrate 3 different defences against each of them. I think I'm going to choose attacks from behind (bilateral rear wrist grab, rear bear hug and rear head lock); 3 different types of wrist grab from the front and 3 escapes from lapel grabs.

I also need to work on my kata. I attended a kata course a couple of weeks back and received a lot of feedback about my kata performance so I now need to practice them incorporating the information given. 

The amount of stuff I need to be working on seems enormous and overwhelming at times but then again I can only do one thing at a time- and there's still 10 weeks to go!

The benefits of training solo...

Though martial arts is essentially about learning self-defence, a process which requires at least two people (attacker and defender), it is also an art that can be practiced solo. I think that all martial arts have at least some elements that can be practiced solo. I love doing solo training at home and karate lends itself better than many martial arts to this end.

So what things can you do on your own that will enhance your overall performance of your marital art?

Here's my top ten list of solo training activities:

1.General fitness training. Which ever martial art you do, you don't need a partner to work on your general fitness and all martial arts require a relatively high degree of general fitness and strength to be done well. Fitness training should encompass endurance, strength and flexibility exercises.
                
2.Specific fitness training.  Depending on the art that you do and your objectives within that art you may need to do specific fitness training. If you do competition sparring then a higher than average level of carido fitness may be needed. You may need to strengthen specific muscles to improve kicking height or do flexibility exercises that specifically open up the hips. Or you may need exercises that work on fast twitch fibres to increase punching speed. All martial artist will have specific fitness needs over and above their general fitness needs. The trick is to identify what those needs are for your art and work on them.

3.Kata/Forms training. Not all martial arts include kata but many do and the advantage of training this in your own time is that you can do it at your own pace; choose the kata you want to work on and repeat sections you have particular difficulty with. There are all sorts of ways of practicing kata that you may not do in normal classes e.g. you can do kata as a flow drill with quick but soft flowing movements; you can practice with your eyes closed; facing in different directions; just do the leg work (that's really hard if you haven't tried it) or train it with full power and correct timing. If you are at home or in the gym you are in full control of how you do it.

4.Kihon training. All arts will have a set of fundamental principles or techniques designed to get you moving your body correctly and working on basic body mechanics and alignment. In karate much of this kihon training can be done solo though in other arts I accept that a partner may be required. I spend a lot of my solo training time practising kihon, often in front of a mirror so that I can see if my limbs and trunk are aligned correctly for the various techniques. Again, the advantage of solo training is that you are in control of which techniques you want to work on and how you want to do it.

5.Sparring combinations. Sparring combinations can be worked either against the air or against a heavy bag. Working it solo is a great chance to put together new combinations or practice old favourites. Obviously this is not a substitute for sparring with a partner but it is a useful adjunct that helps lay down a few memory maps for specific combinations.

6.Self defence with an imaginary partner. Yes, you can do some partner work without your partner being there! If you are trying to commit certain self-defence combinations to memory, such as ippon kumite or goshin waza techniques, then you can walk through these with an imaginary partner. You won't know how well  you can get them to work until you try them on a real partner but at least you'll remember what you're supposed to be doing.

7.Mental martial arts. Solo training doesn't all have to be physical. You can spend valuable time just thinking through kata or combination techniques to help fix them in the mind.

8.Reading. Reading about martial arts, whether it be about history, culture, technique or philosophy, should also be thought of as a form of solo training because it all enhances your general understanding of martial arts. Reading makes you think and broadens your martial arts horizons. By understanding your art (and others) in a cultural and historical context you become better able to interpret kata and look at how techniques can be transferred to a more contemporary context.

9.Writing. Writing is not everyone's cup of tea I know but it can be very useful. Writing can just consist of making your own private notes about techniques or keeping a training log. Alternatively writing can include researching and producing articles for a blog, if you are so inclined. For me, writing is very much a part of my solo training and my blogs are the place where I do most of my thinking about martial arts as well as communicating with other like minded people.

10.Meditation. Some will say that learning to meditate is an essential skill for every martial artist. You may or may not agree with this but having some quiet time alone to clear the mind and relax the body or to practice correct breathing can be as valuable to the martial artists training as any physical training. Martial arts is a mind-body thing so training the mind should have some priority in your training schedule.

This is my top ten ways of training solo. You may know other useful ways of training solo for martial arts, so why not leave a comment......

This article was inspired by Michele's article on Solo Karate Training

Training review and update

Where is the time going? When I started this fitness program and my black belt training I had 24 weeks to go - that's nearly 6 months, now I only have 14 weeks left and that doesn't seem very long at all. So much to do, so little time to do it!

One of the problems I'm facing is proportioning my time between general fitness training and specific karate training, particularly the stuff on the black belt syllabus. Over the last couple of weeks I've moved from doing mainly fitness training to doing mainly karate training. This is because there is so much to cover and I need to make quite a lot of progress in certain areas, particularly in some of the kihon (basics) which are very detailed and prescriptive.

A kick can't just be any old kick it has to be a super high-quality 'Marks & Spencer' style kick. Well some of my kicks are only 'Tesco' quality at the moment (some may even be 'Budgens'). No disrespect meant to these supermarkets - they operate in different customer markets but you get my drift. 


So how do you get from Budgens to Marks & Spencer with your kicks? Well it's just a case of checking your technique is correct and then practice, practice, practice. So this is what I have been doing. Lots.

However, spending much of my home training time practising basic kihon has meant that I don't have a lot of time to follow my general fitness program so I have had to prioritise and double up where possible. So instead of shadow boxing for endurance training I now go through all 12 of my kihon combinations several times. Believe me, when you are putting all your power and effort into performing these you really work up a sweat and get your heart going!

I am still doing squat training, balance training and the push up challenge on a regular basis and I try to do the flexibility exercises at least twice a week. The push up challenge has actually become the most constant exercise in my week. I have been following the program with almost religious zeal and I'm making progress. On Saturday (the end of week 5) I managed 120 push ups divided into 8 sets (with 30 done in the last set). However, I didn't do so well with the exhaustion set - I could only get to 35 whereas I needed to get to 45 to move onto the next week of the program. So I am repeating week 5 again this week. But hey, 120 push ups in 15 minutes (with short breaks between sets)? No way I could have done that a few weeks ago!

So, where to go now? I think I will be reviewing my training aims and re-planning my program a bit to reflect the need to spend more time practising specific karate techniques. I need to be thinking about by ippon kumite techniques (1 step sparring) and self defence techniques as well as continuing to practice kata and kihon. However, strength, fitness and flexibility are also important so I still need to fit this in somewhere.....

Keep you posted. Happy training!

A private lesson experience

I've been a little distracted this week with sorting out my computer virus problems (see: Computer Virus Frustrations!). This has now been sorted out but it has made me a little late posting on this blog this week!

Despite a few wasted hours fixing my computer I have still been following my training program, though not as frequently as I would have liked. I suppose the real highlight of the last fortnight was having a private karate lesson with my instructor. I've never had a private lesson before but my instructor offered it to me for free as a thank you for helping him with the junior class over the last 18 months.

I found the private lesson both exciting and scary. Exciting because it was an opportunity to specifically work on things I needed or wanted to work on and receive lots of individualised feedback and advice but scary because all the attention was on me and all my negative points were exposed and dissected in detail. However, this is the nature of martial arts training - one improves more quickly if negative points are highlighted and corrected early so I was very grateful for the feedback.

My instructor filmed me performing my punching and kicking combinations and also my kata. Seeing yourself on film is a revelation and not necessarily a pleasant one! My punching combinations didn't look too bad but I thought my kicking combinations were pretty awful on the whole. My back kick is too low, my front kick doesn't snap back enough, my roundhouse kick is off-line and my side kick lacks power. I can work on all this though, at home, and it WILL get better. Seeing yourself look bad at something really motivates you to want to get better at it. The other negative thing about seeing myself on film is that my gi makes me look enormous, especially around the hips - these things really aren't designed to flatter!

My kata performances are a work in progress. My Bassai Dai performance has strong points and weak points. I hadn't realised until this lesson that I had actually misinterpreted some of the moves and was doing them incorrectly. These errors have now been pointed out,  so I can work on them in my own time. In fact I've been working on them quite hard since the lesson and I reckon that if I was filmed again you would already see some improvement in my performance.

The lesson focused entirely on basics - punches, kicks, stances and kata. These are things every karate-ka needs to work on constantly so it was very valuable to work on this in a private lesson. The hour flew by and left me feeling pretty tired, both mentally and physically. I would definitely recommend a private lesson, particularly if you have certain issues that you need to work on. 

Have you ever had a private martial arts lesson? Did you enjoy it or find it too intense?